India Oxenberg, a survivor of the NXIVM “sex cult,” has rebuilt her life after facing physical and mental abuse.
She escaped the group with her mother’s help and now lives in Key West, Florida, where she hosts a podcast and shares her story to help others.
Oxenberg underwent a challenging recovery process, including therapy, psychedelics, and ketamine treatments. (Trending: Joe Biden’s Approval Crashes To New Low)
She emphasizes the importance of recognizing warning signs of grooming and manipulation, aiming to empower others to protect themselves.
“One of the hardest things when you’re coming [out of] a traumatic event is feeling isolated and feeling like you are completely alone,” Oxenberg said.
“Being able to connect with other survivors … it’s really inspiring. … It reminds you of human resilience and how much stronger we are than we might think in a moment of feeling weak.”
“I wanted that for a long time,” Oxenberg said. “Now I feel like I really have that in my life.”
“I wasn’t really mentally free for a while,” Oxenberg said. “I escaped Albany … and then I moved to New York City. I started trying to get a normal job, trying to interact with people outside the group, trying to also juggle a bunch of complicated legal things that were going on in my life that I really didn’t know how to handle. It took me a lot of time to start to rebuild that trust with people who were good, and my family and friends from the past and new friends who [were] emerging in my life.”
“It wasn’t like a week later my eyes were completely open and I could see things clearly,” she added. “It takes years. That’s kind of a misconception. You think, ‘I’m out, so now I’m free.’ But, really, there can be a lot of psychological interference that doesn’t really make you feel free.”
“I think I’ve had to build that strength inside of me,” she said. “There were times when I’ve suffered a lot of … mental troubles. And those dark days … I’ve had many of them. I used to think that when that would happen, [then] that meant I wasn’t supposed to be here anymore, or that maybe I didn’t need to live or didn’t need to try.
“I feel like I’ve had to build a lot of internal strength to just know that my life is valuable, I’m valuable,” she added. “That people love me, that I’m safe, that I’m not where I was before. I [had] to give myself that positive reinforcement to remind myself that those negative pathways that I am used to going down are not my only options. I think it’s about building a new positive narrative inside that supports life and living and being appreciative of my life.”
Despite the trauma, she has found love and is optimistic about the future, encouraging survivors to rise above their experiences.
“I think I was really scared to open myself up to love,” she said. “I think I was also really guarded because as much as I wanted to get close to somebody who was my friend at that time, I had just been burned by so many people that I thought were my friends and they weren’t. I think a lot of people can relate to that of just going through things, shutting down and then having to reopen yourself back.”
“I needed a good friend, and I found that in my husband,” she added. “I found somebody who was not judgmental, somebody who just treated me like a regular person who had made some bizarre decisions that led to some really severe consequences that I could never have anticipated.”
“When somebody’s trying to make you in their image and doesn’t allow you to just be you — that, to me, is a red flag,” she said. “Why does somebody need you to be like them? That defeats the whole purpose of being an individual. I see a lot of that on social media and how girls feel like they have to look or be a certain way to be loved and admired.
“To me, that could go in a direction where you could be more vulnerable to somebody who wants to take advantage of you. There’s an inner strength that’s powerful when you say, ‘This is who I am. I don’t need anyone’s approval.’ That’s important to preserve.”
“Another grooming red flag is when people use shame and guilt,” she said. “To me, that’s a manipulative strategy that can get you to alter your behavior, not for your benefit.”
“I was only 19 years old. There are a lot of 19-year-olds out there who are going through big life changes, who are going to college, who are starting their first jobs away from home … away from their support system,” she said. “You’re vulnerable. … I think a lot of what I thought and a lot of what drove me was this need to prove myself … to prove that I was worth something. That drove me in the wrong direction.”
“Bad things happen to all of us, and you don’t have to be a victim of that forever,” she concluded. “You can actually choose to rise above your story. … You can say, ‘That doesn’t define me. That’s just something that happened.’”
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